Friday, February 1, 2013

"Yes, Dear; Your Whale Vomit Smells Lovely"

Seems there was a fellow named Ken Wilman who was walking his dog along the coast of northwest England when he stumbled upon something strange.  He came upon what appeared to be a rock about the size of a football.

When he bent to pick it up and examine it he noticed it didn't quite have the same heft of a rock that size.  When he lifted it to his nose to smell it he quickly dropped it and acclaimed a quick "yuk".  It smelled bloody awful he related.

Turning to walk away and leave his find he had second thoughts and picked it up and took it home.
After arriving home our man Ken found out that this foul smelling object was actually whale vomit,
and already given the genus tag of "ambergris" or "floating rock".  What old Ken found out next was even better.   It seems this ambergris is a very rare and very valuable commodity.  Giving off an overpowering musky scent, this ambergris is used in the manufacturing of perfume.

As the ambergris ages the strong and offensive musky scent seems to abate where it is then processed into an ingredient used to instill that musky scent in the perfumes that our women treasure so highly.  The higher degree of musk the wilder it drives their favorite menfolk.

So, as soon as Ken's find hit the news a French perfume maker called him up and offered him $65,000 dollars for his "hunk a hunk a hunk of burning love".  But we have since learned that a perfume maker in Switzerland has offered four times that amount!

Now, our friend Ken is a happy man and women can soon look forward to the arrival on Macy's shelves of "oeu de whale vomit" by Jennifer Lopez...or "Miley's Whale Of A Good Time".

I can't make this stuff up folks!  ;)


  1. You may not make it up but you relay it so well. I love closing a story on it's last sentence with a good laugh. A tear or a smile, you get one or the other from me most every time. This time a good laugh, "oeu de whale vomit" by Jennifer Lopez...LOL

    I vacationed at a dive island called "Ambergris Caye". I always thought it an odd name. Most name their place of residence after great men, etc., but "whale vomit"?


  2. Thanks, Ken. Too bad you didn't find any of that ambergris at Ambergris Caye...what a find!

    P.S. I've had a few times when I barfed on the beach...but sadly it had no value...and fortunately the tide came in and cleaned it up...all except a sea side hangover.

    1. If you have to have a hangover, the sea side ain't a bad place to have it.