Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Breasts In Politics; A New Political Theorem
Since I have dedicated three of my blogs to the subject of women's breasts during the past two years, I guess I could be accused of having a fetish about them, and could easily be labelled a "dirty old man". However, I beg your patience as I offer both a social, and political theorem about these wonderful globular protuberances.
But before I do, let me first say that breasts need not be large to command one's admiration. I've seen breasts that are small and perky and ultimately lovely. I've seen breasts that provide a lovely cleavage at the center of the chest, made even more lovely as they adorn a low cut dress. I've seen breasts that are wide apart and seemed to want to "go their own way", heading in opposite directions...and yet still very attractive.
You see folks? I am an equal opportunity breast lover. And why not? They command our attention at work (though you must never comment, nor allow your stare to linger, lest you find yourself without a job in an era of the crumbling "glass ceiling), we admire them in grocery stores, day care centers, gas stations, hardware stores and most especially in night clubs and bars where they are often presented in grand splendor.
I have deemed this as "breast power" because all a woman need do is swing their "chests" in our direction and we are under a spell.
So it is my contention that women need to do more with their "assets". I am firmly convinced that we can elect a woman President if she'll just show a modicum of intelligence and generous cleavage. There is no doubt in my mind that Sarah Palin could have swung the election in John McCain's favor just by shutting up and unbuttoning the top two buttons on her blouse.
And I'm telling you right now that if Speaker of The House John Boehner was sitting across the table from a President with nice cleavage we would have already had a budget agreement.
But please, no silicone or botox. Nancy Pelosi has already shone what a disaster that can be.
Breast Power Baby!