Saturday, December 15, 2012
Did God "Take A Pass" On Those School Children Murders?
When we lost a son thirteen years ago my wife and I could find no solace or comfort or peace. Most of all we could find no rational excuse for the loss of a child. My wife had little problem turning to her church since her relationship with her God was on a sound basis. With no where else to turn I too turned to the church. We attended a religious memorial along with other parents who've lost children. I accompanied my wife to church each Sunday in the next few weeks, hoping that God's reason for taking my son far too early would be made known to me and give me some sense of peace.
Sadly, attending church didn't work for me. The mass seemed ritualistic, mechanistic and the words of the sermons fell on my heart like a cold rain. And so, for many, many years the only comfort I could find was just a tiny easing of the ache in my heart. Those who have lost children will tell you that your sense of life joy is never the same, no matter what you or anyone else does. But, after the first year or two the ache is not as severe. Yes, there are times when our loss comes back like a massive life storm and renders you weak and shaking, but that too shall pass.
Now we must witness a massacre of little innocent children in a community previously deemed one of the safest in our nation. These kindergarteners and first graders were awaiting the arrival of Santa Claus in mere days. Now they will never live to find out that Santa Claus is but a spirit in the hearts of those who loved them. Their parents are devastated, beyond hope or solace or comfort. They will walk around like automatons, frozen in shock and unable to come to terms with the violent and tragic death of innocents.
They will stare at presents already wrapped under the tree, just waiting for their sweet children to open them on Christmas morning. Those young voices will not be there to sing the songs at the school's Winter Carnival; their young voices are silenced forever.
Those children will never again 'trick or treat' on Halloween, sing a Christmas song, or bring home a gold star for a book report. There will be no first dates, senior proms or graduations. So much has been taken from those poor families.
Now, some people, who do not believe in a "creator", or God, will argue that if God existed he would never permit the death of innocent young children. Tragedies such as these are an "atheist's dream", for it arms them with solid but horrible truths about a God that would allow children to suffer from cancer, or be gunned down by a mad man on a Christmas season morning.
Having lived through the loss of a child, I can only offer this. In the intervening years since the death of my son I have forgiven my creator and readily acknowledge that I still don't have the answer for such tragedy, or why lives play out the way they do.
Buddhists will tell you that those little children who lost their lives yesterday were souls in heaven long before they entered this world in the wombs of their mothers; and that it is entirely possible that these unborn souls both knew and agreed to their fate long before they are delivered to this chaotic world. Buddhists call that sacrifice a "honing" or "refining" of the soul, meant for even better rewards in a better place.
I find that explanation as reasonable as any other, and the fact that I can still have faith, and an open mind about life's fates are indications that my soul has healed enough for me to go on.
The parents of the twenty innocent children who lost their lives yesterday cannot fathom this explanation. The loss is simply too devastating, the wounds too raw, the hurt beyond comprehension and only time will ease their pain.
As for myself, while I don't have the answers as to why we experience such loss, I've learned not to condemn God, or my creator, for such tragedy. It is a "poor" person indeed who gives our creator no credit for life's blessings, while assessing blame for a pre-conceived "all powerful" God, who would allow the sickness and death of young innocents.
But I've learned enough, and had enough signals from my dear ones who've passed, that our creator exists. But, until we ourselves pass over, we will have to have faith in one who brings us life, with all its joy and pain.
My only prayer is that time will ease the pain of those families who are suffering so much now. May they someday find peace and comfort and may the blessings of life continue to enrich their souls.