Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Happy Birthday Elvis; Saw You in Walmart!

I love Walmart.  You can go to Walmart and get a haircut or perm and get your nails done, do your banking, get your taxes done, get a flu shot, buy a house, gets some keys made, still buy sewing goods by the yard, buy gourmet cheeses or a gallon can of menudo,  then celebrate with a Big Mac and a coke, all the while getting your car's oil changed.  Each Walmart has its own distinctive look and customer following so I also like to go to Walmart to "people watch".  In the South I've seen some really strange customers; folks who shop in their pajamas or wearing speedos or stretch pants that have overtaxed their capacity to the max.

Today, I visited Walmart to get an ink printer cartridge and a set of sheets.  My local Walmart is pretty tame; clean, well lit and our customers are just "average".  Thought so anyway until I ran into Elvis and can now personally verify that those National Inquirer "Elvis Lives!" articles were all true after all.

Being a skeptical sort I initially thought this is just one of those Elvis "wanna-be's" but damn his cart gave it away!  Stuffed in ole Elvis's cart were two loaves of white bread, a big jar of peanut butter, a tub of butter, a bunch of bananas and an "Elvis in Concert, Aloha From Hawwii" CD.  And, I'm reluctant to say, Elvis also had a tube of Preparation "H" and a box of "Just For Men" hair coloring, shade "Jet Black".

The King was pushing his cart down the front aisle, shadowed by two silver-haired "groupies", and we converged at the checkout counter at the same time.  I smiled at Elvis and gestured that he can go ahead of me.  He smiled back in that patented upturned smile, with slight upcurl of lip and said "thank you...thank you very much".

I watched as Elvis paid for his purchases and walk out the door.  I fully expected the Walmart loudspeaker to call out "Walmart shoppers...Elvis has left the building".......



  1. That is him. Lol. Love your post cuz.

  2. That first paragraph was amazing! My Wife's infinite enthusiasm for Wal Mart I thought unequaled until I read your first few lines! I was nearly winded when I finished reading it. It's like a "Wal Mart" of a paragraph! Being the anti capitalists that we are in Cali, I haven't seen a Wal Mart's like that around me.

    That is one amazing store you describe, complete with Elvis, and with the diet you so colorfully put in his basket is it any wonder he has a tube of "H"!?! May have a heart like the King as well.

    Funny Story, Thanks for that!